Why I Lost My Inspiration

On Thursdays, I post. Every week for the past six weeks, I have made sure to have a piece written, an Instagram story scheduled, and a Facebook post drafted by 2PM. I have been proud of what I have been writing and have loved the feelings of happiness I get out of sharing it on my own personal website. All the work I put out is entirely my own, and that’s the best part about this endeavor that I started back in May.

And then I have these incredible moments. Moments when I am so invigorated by an intense desire to write that I can feel it building up inside of me, like I’m just bursting at the seams. And when I sit down with my laptop or journal open, it all just comes spilling out of me. I love those moments. But I know they aren’t consistent. They are not always going to show up on the dot when I want to write a post and have it ready by 2PM on Thursday.

I love spending time alone because that’s when I can think the clearest. That’s when I feel the most inspired because I get to hone into myself and my emotions. I become more aware of my surroundings and build a sense of self-awareness that only comes with spending time alone. But sometimes that becomes a rarity when I forget to prioritize myself. When I forget to do that, I neglect to take the time to sit back and check in with myself. Since coming back to San Luis Obispo after summer, my priorities and responsibilities have naturally changed, and that has exacerbated the problem. My focus has been all over the place. And as a result, my writing habits have suffered.

Let me explain. Before I started a blog, I kept journals. I had been writing down my thoughts in notebooks and journals and in phones for years. It was my way of reflecting, and every time I wrote my thoughts down, it gave me a sense of relief in being able to give up those thoughts and dreams and emotions and see them in front of me in a tangible form. It kept me centered.

Since starting my blog, that catharsis has been mixed with writing on my blog. It has been a place to let out my thoughts in the past. But because I have been caught up in my schedule and my blog is no longer my only focus, I have been guilty of neglecting to make time for myself. This has been building since I started working over the summer. But with the start of the school year and the inevitable chaos of my schedule, I have found myself losing the inspiration to write because it has become another thing to check off of my to-do list.

It’s important to live in the moment. But I have been living so much in each moment that I haven’t been looking outside of that, and that’s why I have lost the drive and inspiration to write that pushed me to make this blog in the first place.

Honestly, I wasn’t even aware of the extent of this issue until I sat down to write this post. Which just drives my point home. These ‘Thoughts” posts are a way for me to share what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling, and people seem like them because they get the most traffic on my blog.

If anything, I hope this post shows you that it’s normal to fall out of good habits. Everyone is guilty of it to some extent or another. It’s easy to neglect yourself and put other responsibilities first. But you are the best version of yourself only when you remember that, and make your self-care and wellbeing at the top of the list of your priorities.

Communication is Everything

In theory, communication seems like a simple idea. It’s the basis for the connection between two people. But in reality, communication can be difficult. It can be complicated and confusing. It can bring people together or tear them apart. It can be the cultivation of ideas into something brilliant or be the wall that some people never scale together successfully.

Throughout my life, I have always prided myself on my great sense of empathy. I think of myself as a considerate person, and strive to be the person to put other people first. I try to take their feelings and emotions into account even if they may differ from my own.

I’ve realized that in order for me to be successful, I have to be confident in myself and who I am. But part of that is also realizing what I am not, and taking comfort in the fact that that I will always have areas to improve in order to continually become a better person for myself and my relationships with others.

I’m a typical overthinker. Whenever I have something important to share with someone, I run through a million scenarios in my head beforehand and get so nervous that sometimes I write down what I want to say before the conversation happens to sort out my thoughts. I recognize that the nervousness can be a good sign; it means that I am invested in the situation. But sometimes I think that it comes off as disingenuous. I go over what I want to say so many times and it becomes polished — too polished — and what I want to convey to the other person can get lost in the words.

I think that the most important component of good communication is transparency. Being clear with your thoughts and your feelings to another person is so important. That’s not to say you should always speak without a filter. It just means that you should be candid and honest while considering that the articulation of your words may affect the other person’s reaction. Ensuring that you are maintaining healthy communication with the people who mean the most to you requires effort.

I’m not perfect. Take what I say with a grain of salt, because the next person may have a different perspective to offer in terms of what they believe cultivates good communication. But that’s the beauty of it. We all react and learn and grow in our own ways, and communication is how you can bridge the gap between those differing characteristics. I believe that as long as you show that you’re well-intentioned and are truly trying your best, then you’re doing just fine.